GAME OF THRONES - S7: E6 (BEYOND THE WALL) REVIEW

HBO suffered another GOT leak this past week when its European branches; HBO Spain and HBO Nordic accidentally made Episode 6 available on demand and the rest as they say is history. The previous leak for Episode 4: Spoils of War didn't appear to affect its viewership numbers then, and it remains to be seen if this feat would be repeated; which would apparently make Game of Thrones 'Leakproof'. Episode 6, aptly titled; Beyond The Wall was as HUGE as it gets, the events of Episode 5 leading up to a spectacular penultimate finale. The episode focused on the events in; Dragonstone, Winterfell and far up North, the latter getting most of the screen time, but before you all start whinging (the latest addition to my vocabulary) about why I'm talking and not reviewing, lets talk about the intense, captivating and perplexing most recent episode of Thrones.

Dragonstone: Tyrion Confronts Daenerys 

As Tyrion and Daenerys await word from Jon Snow, Daenerys states that she likes Tyrion because he is not a hero, 'Drogo, Jorah, Daario (a list of her love interests if you didn't notice) and even this Jon Snow, they all try to outdo each other' mentioning Jon Snow as though he was of no matter to her, Tyrion, not one to miss out on subtleties clearly catches on and restates that Jon Snow may be in love with her, to which she dismisses 'he's too small for me' (Classic Denial & Subversion: deflecting your crush by forming disinterest). However, the conversation takes a hostile turn as Tyrion addresses the fact that  Daenerys has been known to lose her temper, something she resents, The Hand of the Queen also bringing back the matter of killing the Tarlys before they had a chance to rethink their decisions in the comfort of a cold cell, reiterating that Daenerys' justice was swift and played into her enemies hands, Daenerys not one to enjoy being corrected squashes the subject. Tyrion being the realist that he is then attempts to initiate the uncomfortable but necessary topic of choosing a successor in the event that Daenerys is killed on a misadventure, also broaching the subject of her bareness (yeesh very uncomfortable bro) he asks that a succession plan is put in place but Daenerys is having none of it, and with the kind of paranoia you would expect from the Mad King the Dragon Queen states that her Hand 'seemed to be thinking of her death lately' she dismisses the discussion, putting it up for after she has claimed the Iron Throne.

Suicide Squad: Westeros - Between Bonding...

What would any fantasy be without a suicide quest? Last week Jon Snow kept up the tradition when he led his own Suicide Squad beyond the wall in search of a living wight to bring back as proof to convince the Queens about the existence of the Night King's army. We catch up with them as they make their way far north while bonding in the process; Jon Snow and Jorah talk about Jeor Mormont and Longclaw (as predicted) before Jon later has a chat about purpose with Beric Dondarion. In these short exchanges the writers seemed to throw some hints of foreshadowing (and this is solely my take) Firstly, as much as character development has gone, Tormund has not had quite enough this season and the writers decided to use his very limited screen time to correct that, however his discussion with Jon Snow while reasonable, felt quite unlike him, the Wildling leader trying to be a voice of reason, pointing out Jon's similarity to Mance Rayder and the repercussion of the King beyond the Wall's stubbornness, secondly his attempt to make small talk with the Hound seemed a bit out of place (I might be wrong) but he's never seemed to be one to make small talk for the hell of it, I felt the script was imminently setting up his death or something like it, just as he was becoming this warm, funny, fuzzy bear, which didn't happen...yet.

Jon's chats with Jorah and Beric on the other hand were more ominous, Jorah remarking to Jon that he should keep Longclaw for his children, a thought which obviously Jon doesn't take likely as he explained to Sam in Season one, Beric Dondarrion also hones in on the peculiar similarity he and Jon share; being that they have been resurrected by the Lord of Light, Beric being adamant that they were brought back by the Lord of Light for a reason to fight for the living and even if they wouldn't find much joy doing it, they would be keeping others alive, to which Jon thoughtfully recites part of Nightswatch Oath 'I am the Shield that guards the Realms of Men'. Now allow me to draw my conclusion from this; with all that being said  and my overly active brain at work, I predict that Jon and Daenerys will have a child (maybe by some miracle he'll fix her barreness) but he will not live to see it as he will die at the end of the series, perhaps sacrificing himself to defeat the Night King and keep the world of men safe and also ensuring Daenerys a successor.

 ...Bears,

As the group go farther north to the arrowhead mountain peak Sandor Clegane saw in the flames, they are soon obstructed by a blizzard accompanied by killer Polar Bear wights, The Bears are killed off eventually only after trimming their numbers; killing two wildling scouts and seriously maiming Thoros of Myr after he jumps in to prevent a literally 'scared stiff' Sandor Clegane from certain death. Thoros' injuries are sterilized with rum and cauterized with Beric Dondarrion's flaming sword, can't get more macho than that can ya?

...and Dead Men.

The group lays an ambush on a modest scout party; A White Walker and several wights,Jon Snow making quick work of the Walker, however its death also leads to the deaths of the wights who followed it (something previously unknown) all except one; who is quickly wrestled and bundled but just after it screeches for help!!!...and boy did the cavalry arrive ever so quickly! Jon Snow commands Gendry to run to Eastwatch to get a message south to Daenerys since he's the fastest (More on this shortly!) while the others make an alternate run for it, they get as far as a frozen lake, only to be quickly closed down by the wights, but luckily for them and unluckily for the nabbed wildling whom the crashing weight of his killers cracks the lake and creates an artificial moat, which gives the group some respite. After what seems like a *few hours* of rest in the blistering cold while awaiting Daenerys' rescue party, Thoros of Myr fatally succumbs to his injuries and the unforgiving climate. Beric bids his friend goodbye as his body is quickly burned (flaming swords are so useful). Their moment of relief is ended when the Hound thinks its such a good idea to throw stones at dead men, a misfired stone settles on the now frozen moat which formerly separated the group from the wights, needing no invitation the wights descend upon the group resulting in an intense and spectacular battle between the living and the dead, three wildlings are killed and Tormund is almost a goner (I was so certain he was) when he's almost dragged underneath the frozen lake, but is saved by The Hound, as the group retreats to higher ground to make a final stand...Daenerys and her Dragons make a most auspicious entrance.

Dragon Down, I Repeat Dragon Down!!!

After Daenerys receives an e-mail...I mean Raven, from Eastwatch informing her of the predicament in which Jon Snow's suicide squad were in, she races against the advice of Tyrion to save her newfound, would-be allies (plus Jorah), and as we've come to expect from any decent fantasy, her entrance to the battle is well timed and crucial, arriving when things are looking most bleak; the suicide squad are about to get neck deep in wights. In a blaze of glory (and to my personal relief and jubilation) Dany's Dragons light up hundreds of wights much to the irritation of the Night King, who literally decides to take matters into his own hands, while reminding us why he holds the Westerosi record for javelin throwing, without as much as a walk up, the iced enigma hurls his frozen spear towards Viserion and the moment it left his hand, there was only going to be one outcome - the Dragon wailed in pain as it was struck, crashing to the ground in a mosaic of fire, blood and ice as it crashed into the frozen lake. The shock on everyone's face pretty much told the whole story and leaves them with a clearer and reinforced image of what they're up against.

A Cold Reunion: Jon Snow and Benjen Stark

After Jon's separation from the group as he wards off incoming wights to allow others safely board Drogon, he's overrun by wights and presumed dead, Drogon and Rhaegol fly off with the survivors to avoid sharing Viserion's fate. However, the resilient King in the North emerges from the icy depths of the frozen lake, his attempt to slowly pass behind the wights doesn't go unnoticed and he's up shit creek without a paddle...enter Benjen 'Coldhands' Stark with his fiery ball and chain, burning wights as he cleared a path towards his nephew, Jon recognizes Benjen, who puts him on the saddle and declines to come with him because 'There is no time'...*sigh* really, how is there no time? get on the fucking horse with the lad and ride like hell for the fucking wall, you'd probably ride faster!, but no, Benjen has to be suicidal, well I guess when you're half dead, the prospect of a half life isn't so appealing.

Eastwatch: J(on) Bended Knee
At Eastwatch, Daenerys is hesitant about leaving for Dragonstone as she stands atop the Wall ostensibly evaluating the nightmare she just witnessed, waiting on something...or someone, much to her relief (and ours) Benjen's horse arrives with the beat down Jon on it. While recuperating aboard Daenerys ship, The Northern King wakes up to her caring gaze and apologizes for the death of her Dragon, thanking her with a shoehorned 'Thank you Dany'...an obvious attempt at endearment (could they be less conspicuous with this 'forced' romance?) and when that didn't work the King in the North bent the knee, figuratively, addressing her as his Queen. This romance is not one I would have written into this story or one that suits the tone of George R.R. Martins' writing it's just so damn fast and cliche, however it will happen no matter what I think (way to go fan service). The reaction by Sansa and the Lords of the North will no doubt be unreasonable like mine and may prompt Sansa usurping his throne, it would also be more interesting to know what Cersei thinks about it.

The Starks: Bad Blood

Winterfell: the Stark sisters relationship is further strained when Arya confronts Sansa about the letter she found last time around - the letter Sansa wrote to Robb. Sansa is clearly shook by Arya's discovery, fearing that her sister may share it with the Northern Lords, which may cause her to lose their support. A nervous Sansa later goes to Arya's room, searching her belongings to for the letter (as if she'd keep it in her room) however what she finds is something entirely unexpected when she finds Arya's bag of faces (Q: who hides a bag of faces under her bed? A: No One). Arya however catches her sister with her hands in the 'lemon cake jar', and for all of Sansa's failed bravado, she can't hide her realized fear that her sister is a dangerous person, a subtle counter threat is enough to make Sansa confide in the last person anyone would want to confide in! Littlefinger, the architect of all her problems. Fear makes people do stupid things after all, with his ruse going as planned Baelish convinces Sansa to get Brienne out of the equation, to give her room to deal with her sister, in what manner remains to be seen. The Triangle between the Stark sisters and Littlefinger gets more and more dangerous; Sansa proves to be not as smart as she thinks she is, Liitlefinger has a renewed influence on her and with Arya's unforgiving nature, the result might be fatal.

The Distorted Timeline, and Gendry's Superhuman Speed?

Now don't get me started on the timeline, ever since episode one of this season its been clear that the show runners didn't make any room for mini plots to account for travel time, the small delicate intricacies of a journey as fillers have been clearly ruled out, as ships traveled like planes and Ravens were just as effective as e-mail. While some could be overlooked and easily rationalized, the latest addition to the now perplexing timeline defies some common sense when you look at the map of Westeros. Gendry's sprint to Eastwatch for starters, how did they know he was the fastest, did they take long distance runner trials? and as if that wasn't bad enough, the Raven sent to Daenerys was even faster considering it had to get to Dragonstone, before Dany and her Dragons came back all the way beyond the wall, all this happened while Jon Snow's group waited for seemingly a couple of hours! (now they're just taking the piss!) I'm no expert on Westerosi Horology, and I didn't create the world, I also don't know whats happening at HBO regarding GOT, I however am peeved that some of the finest storytelling on television is hampered with something as trivial as impossible timelines.

Episode Round Up: Behind Blue Eyes

As far as episode 6 went, there was only one true winner, The Fucking Night King! Your favorite cold, steely, blue eyed antagonist, his enemies lost a Dragon and he gained one. (Not even going to ask where the wights got those massive chains ⛓⛓⛓ from) A huge compensation, even though you lost hundreds of wights and one Wight Walker lieutenant wouldn't you say? While Jon's Suicide Squad accomplished their goal, they paid heavy prices with the Deaths of Viserion, Thoros and some unnamed wildlings, not to mention handing the Night King an advantage with a massive Weapon of Mass Destruction (WMD) although they now have proof to convince the Kingdoms about a more important foe. While Cersei has agreed to an armistice, its more than obvious she will honour it only to turn on her enemies when it suits her, Daenerys has a Dragon less, something Cersei will no doubt be glad about, also what stops her from simply labeling one wight as a conjurer's trick in hopes to deceive her? Tyrion has been outsmarted by his siblings twice before so who's to say they can't do it again by breaking the armistice, after all these are the children of a man who broke guest right and justified it. Arya and Sansa's relationship gets more strained and with Littlefinger pulling on delicate strings it may well get deadly and will the loss of Daenerys' Dragon prove to be a bigger blow than she imagined and how would that affect her confidence - we saw her breakdown on the ship. Theon Greyjoy, The Unsullied, Sam and The Lannisters were nowhere to be seen in this episode which only means we'll be seeing them in the final episode. I honestly don't even think 81 minutes will do it justice, but fingers crossed till the Season finale.