WONDER WOMAN 1984: ANYTHING BUT WONDERFUL

I’m just going to get into it; Wonder Woman 1984 (WW84) was a bust! And I commiserate with everyone who had a bad time with this one, its 2 hours and 30 minutes of your life you won’t be getting back, and for those who managed to enjoy it, I don't know how you did it, but good for you. Once again, another DC heavyweight fell flat on its face. This movie was devastatingly mediocre and we didn’t deserve that, especially not after the year the World just had. It was supposed to bring back that cinematic Magic and remind us about what we missed about Hollywood blockbusters, but it did anything but that.

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR WONDER WOMAN 1984

Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot’s reunion failed to recapture any of the 'magic' that they managed in the first film, as WW84 fell flat on its face. While its prequel wasn’t quite the spectacle it was made out to be upon its release back in 2017, it was still, by all means a decent and memorable entry to the male dominated superhero genre. It set a bar for future female superhero films to reach and even surpass, which makes it all the more tragic, that its own sequel doesn’t even come close.  WW84 looked like it was produced for the CW, and that is saying something considering its $200 million budget. There was very little to desire in this movie, from its atrocious storytelling, cheesy CGI and awful fight choreography.

When you're caught doing magic all wrong

I particularly found the plot to be appalling; it was like Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986), The Mummy (2017) and Wishmaster (1997) had a baby that was adopted by a Disaster movie. It was just all over the place, and not what we want to be seeing in a Wonder Woman movie or any movie for that matter. There’s just so much source material in the character’s arsenal for them to have settled with that script. Antagonist Maxwell Lord’s (Pedro Pascal) wish was probably the worst wish ever made in the history of wishing, imagine this guy found the Lamp and not Aladdin, be rest assured, Arabian Nights would have turned out very differently. Wonder Woman’s biggest archenemy, Kristen Wiig’s Cheetah was horribly wasted, and her final ‘Boss Battle’ with Diana was beyond underwhelming (what was the point of all that swinging and don’t get me started on the Golden Eagle armor).  Throw in the many pointless scenes in this film, and not even the willful acting of Chris Klein, Pedro Pascal and Kristen Wiig could turnaround a hapless script.  

You know you want to laugh Gal

I truly wondered how Gal Gadot kept a straight face throughout some of the scenes; it would take a master poker face not to have cringed every now and then. The flying scenes in particular were just ridiculous. Yes, we wanted Wonder Woman to fly; I mean it is part of her canon, but certainly not like that. This was one of the worst attempts at human flight I have ever seen in a film; it was so bad it was distracting. In 2020 you would think a basic filmmaking illusion like human flight, would be inconsequential, but I clearly thought wrong. The CGI guys on this movie tanked big time. 

Cheetah and Maxwell Lord were not done justice

For a movie heavily marketed on the neon lights and nostalgia of the 80s, there wasn't really much that sought to immerse us in that decade, well maybe except the costumes and prop, but a few soundtracks from the title year might have served as good distractions. And at the end of all this, it doesn’t even end right. The audience doesn’t get any real closure about Maxwell Lord and little-to-none about Barbara/Cheetah, it isn’t open-ended, it just ends horribly, and leaves us with questions; If everyone remembers what happens doesn’t that make Maxwell Lord a wanted man? What’s Diana’s relationship with Barbara going forward? Does the Wish Stone go back to being a stone?  Questions I felt were swept under the rug, when it was easier to answer them. As I said, atrocious storytelling.

This film was such a mess, that I’m willing to give the Director the benefit of a doubt. It probably suffered production issues. After all, Warner Bros have been notorious for tinkering with the Director’s vision, that it might just explain the pointless scenes, poor production value, and probably why the movie was pushed back several times. Even the film’s last scene felt shoehorned, a patronizing last minute addition, when it was decided the movie would be released around the holiday season. 

Steve Trevor has gone back to a better place

In conclusion, Wonder Woman 1984 was an abysmal outing for DC films, I heard it was bad, but I actually had to see it to believe it. Taking the positives, I did like the final appearance of Cheetah and I thought Pedro Pascal and Kristen Wiig put in very willful performances despite the script. The introduction of Wonder Woman’s power of flight and her invisible jet, were valued, however the execution of both concepts was sorely lacking. My heart goes out to everyone who worked hard to make this movie, but it just didn’t cut it, and the only Wonder was how it was ever allowed to grace our screens. To think Steve Trevor was reincarnated for this.

Reject Rating: 4/10

Images Courtesy of Warner bros.